This book is written to help men
and women understand the opposite gender better.
The book starts off by telling
you about the five stages of dating. Attraction, uncertainty, exclusivity,
intimacy, and engagement.
Attraction is the first stage,
when you first start to realise you want to continue seeing that person, then
comes uncertainty when you start to wonder if the person is right for you.
After that stage comes exclusivity where you stop looking for some one else
because you want to take the relationship farther. Then intimacy where you
become the most serious about the relationship. The final stage in engagement,
you’ve both decided that you’re right for each other and make some of the best
moments of your life.
Although some people find the
right person immediately, most will have several relationships varying in
intimacy, although too often people will break up and have bad feelings for a
long time after. This is because people stay too long together because they
don’t realize that they aren’t compatible. This leaves the leaver guilty and
the left resentful because they both put a lot into the relationship and they
feel like it’s all been wasted.
When women start dating they try
their best to make the man happy because that is how they would treat another
woman, but she must learn to make a man happy she must allow him to make her
happy and let him know that you appreciate it. She often thinks that she has to
give back the same that he gives, and this often makes her uncomfortable. A man
does not expect a woman to give back.
Another thing that women do is let the man do all the talking because she thinks this will make him happy, but it can in fact it can turn him off or he’ll become more interested in the subject than her. What will make him really interested if she carries the conversation and tells him all about her. Sometimes women will have to interrupt because the man will keep on talking. This is just the way men talk. But when she does interrupt she should be tactful and not be resentful or say something like “can I say something”, this makes you seem out of the conversation. Instead you should say something like “I think…” or “I like…” you should interrupt firmly but gracefully.
Now after the date a man will often not call, now this will leave the women wondering if something went wrong, and why he isn’t calling. What they don’t realize is that it’s not normal for a man to call. He just won't think about it. A wise guy will make sure to call at least 3-4 times a week in stage one, but sometimes a lady will have to call after a while.
A man might not call because he
realizes that he’s taken to long and he doesn’t want to get berated even though
he’s interested. A lady should call after a week or two but she must not be
resentful when she calls, she should just call casually and say hello or use an
excuse therefore letting the man know that she isn’t angry with him.
A man must realize that engagements and marriages are very important to women, men might not realize this. A lady should not give a man an ultimatum about a ring, instead she should have several calm talks about the subject.
Another thing is that no relationship is perfect, but a couple should help bring out the best of each other and not the worst.
Tips
Some people don’t go past the
first stage because they’re trying to find “Mr./Mrs. Perfect”, but most
relationships take time to form, so you must move farther than just the first
date.
A man will stop being romantic
once he thinks he’s “won” the lady, this is a reason woman shouldn’t call
unless necessary, because if he feels that she is pursuing him he’ll stop
trying to “win” her over.
One thing that is different with
women and men, is that men will never just meet up to “talk”, unlike women. Also,
men will meet up after years of not seeing each other and continue like it was
yesterday that they met.
Another big differences is that women will often drop hints that she thinks is acceptable to let the man know what she wants. When the man does not make the connections she’ll eventually become indignant and get angry at him. Now it would be more romantic if he asked if she needed help, but men just normally ask each other for help. So, a woman must ask him for help if she wants it and he’ll gladly help. But if she is angry at him and says something like “CAN YOU PLEASE HELP!” a man will become indignant because he believes that he’s done nothing wrong.
One tip for guys is that when a woman is annoyed at something he should just agree instead of explaining it with logic, this will just make her more annoyed and angry at you.
A tip for ladies is that sometimes guys need a short break, sometimes a woman will try to comfort him in this moment which is the complete opposite thing she needs to do. After a day or two he’ll comeback with even more love and romance.
A man is more likely to make an apology if he believes that the woman is going to accept it, but if he believes that she’ll just berate him he'll be less likely to apologies and learn from his mistakes.
A man must realise that
engagements and marriages a very important to women, men might not realise
this. A lady should not give a man an ultimatum about a ring, instead she
should have several calm talks about the subject.
When a woman talks about her
problems a man assumes that she’s asking for advice.
Men enjoy when a woman can have a
friendly argument about a subject.
When looking for a place to find
somebody for a date you should go places where the numbers are in your favor.
Where there are more of the interested gender.
Now go on and get out there!
